Parenting Pop Quiz

When I was pregnant, many people told me that parenting was hard.  

"Yeah, yeah," I thought.  I'm tough.  I got this.  

Turns out, parenting got me.  Or rather my ideals about proper parenting got me.   What I expected and what happens on a daily basis are wildly different.  

If you've ever wondered if you've got what it takes to be a parent, then here's a handy pop quiz.  If you can identify at least one thing wrong with each of these photos, then you are going to be a great mom or dad.  

Go ahead, you got this.  

QUESTION #1:

What's wrong here?  There are NO DOUGHNUTS in my cart!  Everyone knows that mothers of newborns are required to enjoy at least one Krispy Kreme an hour during those first weeks.  It feels a shame not to tell you this now.  Keep going.  

QUESTION #2:

What's wrong here?  Amelia is not a teenager, yet she already looks bored and annoyed with me! I can almost feel her eye rolling technique starting to form.  The only thing right about this moment is that I'm on a business trip during potty training.  

QUESTION #3:

What’s wrong here?   It’s a violation of the traditional parenting rule, “No pants, no problem.”   I mean, if he had pants, I’m sure he’d smile and agree to sit in the high chair, right? 

 

QUESTION #4:

What’s wrong here?  I only have two children, but about forty two sippie cups.  These evil cups magically multiply like bunnies.  But when I really need a clean one, I can’t find one.  Plus, none of them are actually spill proof.  Just warning you - these suckers are tricky.   

QUESTION #5:

What’s wrong here?  He’s cute, but he left too much evidence of his first ‘Five Finger Discount”.  If he’s going to steal all the salad bar food before we checkout, then at least he needs to make it less obvious.  Always remember to wipe the face and remove all pineapple from the shoe.  

 

QUESTION #6:

What’s wrong here?  There’s no whiskey in my coffee!  If you are going to have a toddler pull your hair while having a temper tantrum in public, you really should have strong liquor in your cup, or at least some cheap wine.   My bad. 

 

QUESTION #7:

What’s wrong here?  I'm unable to maintain good personal hygiene.  Good parents take a shower when their child sleeps.  My kid takes naps in the shower.   I clearly skipped the day they taught sleep and shower seperation in parenting class.   I know you can do better than me. 

 

QUESTION #8:

What’s wrong here (other than agreeing to go on a group camping trip with an infant)?  I can’t decide if it’s the proximity to wine bottles, sharp knives, bug spray, or hot coffee.  It’s probably the red bead necklace with my pink shirt.  Yup, that’s it.  My outfit totally clashes. 

 

BONUS QUESTION:

What’s wrong here?  NOTHING.  Everything is right about this picture.  Because when you survive a moment like this and live to laugh about it, then you’re going to make it in this parenting thing. 

Here’s the secret folks:  There are no right or wrong actions.  You are a good parent by just trying to be one.  There are days everything will go wrong.  There are moments everything will go right.  Everything else in between will just be funny….someday.