Butterflies are free

Once again I am faced with the feelings of powerlessness in the face of tragedy.  The grief I feel for this country is too large to hold in my heart.  There is a massive problem with guns, hate, and intolerance.  

I cannot fix what has come before me, but I do have an opportunity to fix what is ahead of me.  The greatest tools of influence I hold are the two children that I shepherd.   If I can make them better, then I can make the future better.   

I believe in the butterfly effect.   This is the theory that small change in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere.   I imagine the tiny breeze created from a gentle butterfly has the cumulative effect to create strong winds thousands of miles away. 

I want to create big winds of change.  I want to cause storms of kindness.   I want to build two beautiful butterflies with strong, kind wings.  I must start with what I can control, no matter how small.

Here’s what I think we can do as individuals, parents, and leaders:

Spend wisely:  Buy experiences not things.  Spend your money on trips, not toys.  Find ways for your children to experience different cultures, different environments, and different people.   I think hate is born out of fear, and fear is hard to hold onto when you try new things.   As an added bonus, when you have less stuff to clean, organize, and sort, you have more time to enjoy, learn, and explore.

Live consciously:  I’m often surprised at how much I am teaching my children even when I’m not trying.   My daughter and son are watching me most in my daily routines.  They are watching how I behave, what I love, and the words I choose.  I’ve often found Amelia talking to herself in the mirror, pretending to be me.   I want her mirror to be a good one. 

Speak lovingly:  Be abundant with tender words.   Don’t be afraid to say, “I love you” to anyone.  I say it out loud to my husband, kids, and family.  But I also tell it to friends, coworkers, and even the occasional stranger who helps me in the checkout line.  Don’t assume others know how you feel.   It’s the easiest and cheapest way to make other people feel great about themselves.  

In these big tragedies, start small to heal.  Be your own butterfly.