The Laundry Knob Society

About three weeks before my expected due date with my first child, I still did not have baby things ready. No car seat installed. No crib built. No hospital bag packed. Instead, I focused on what I felt was the most important endeavor for the health and well being of my baby-to-be. I spent three hours cleaning the built-up grime from the laundry knobs of our not-that-dirty washing machine (using 30+ Q-tips, of course!).

So a few days later when I went into early labor, I seriously panicked. I doubted and questioned myself. How could I be a good mom if I chose insignificant cleaning over building a crib for my child to sleep in? (Note: my darling husband and father-in-law raced home to fix this situation while the new baby and I rested in the hospital).

I tell you this because on the surface, many people thought I had it together in those first weeks, months - even years. But truthfully, I was full of self-doubts and guilt. Early motherhood humbled and crushed me in ways I never expected. Life with a newborn was not about cute nursery décor (didn’t have it) or clean laundry knobs (didn’t need it). It was about sacrifice, fear, exhaustion, and wonder (holy crap). I wanted my life to look like a parenting magazine ad, but it never did.

I felt massively lonely in my overwhelmed state. What I wanted more than the time back to fix my mistakes was someone to just reach out, put their arm around my shoulders, and admit, “Yeah, me too.” So I started 'The Laundry Knob Society' with some of my best friends when I was pregnant with my second child. It was in this truth telling and secret sharing that I finally became a little less hard on myself (and just avoided the washing machine all together).

My friends and I continue to share all those awkward, challenging moments when life gets weird and unscripted. And the simple act of honesty is the scariest and most rewarding part. Whatever your challenge is - being a parent, moving to a new place, losing your job, or micro-biotic cleaning - I say, “Yeah, me too. And welcome to the Laundry Knob Society.”