Stepping off the pink bandwagon

I think there are three types of people that buy this pink ribbon merchandise:

1. Those who have survived breast cancer.  To you I say, “Buy, buy, buy!  You go girl!“
2. Those who like pink things.  To you I say, “Pink is fantastic, but so is leopard print.”
3. Those who think the pink ribbon stuff will protect you.   To you I say, “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work that way.”

I know this because I tried it.  I did the fundraising walks and the 5k runs, complete with t-shirts and balloon arches.  I owned a breast cancer cooking apron, a two-week supply of pink socks, and a pink ribbon collection large enough to qualify me for an episode of Real Hoarders. But all it got me was an apartment full of clutter and more things I had to let go of after my mom died. 

I had to let go of more than stuff, more than the things.  I had to let go of the idea that the universe was available to protect my family and me from harm.  I had to let go of the notion that my tangible and intangible acts of kindness meant I would have health and fortune bestowed upon me. I had to let go of the assumptions that I had special powers to heal and fix everything for my family.  And so later, I had to let go of the pink ribbon, too. 

I can’t ride the pink bandwagon anymore.  I just don’t think it’s going to take me to the places I need to be in my life without mom.  It’s fine if you buy this coffee, headband, or tape glider (!!): 

Everyone needs caffeine, a clear forehead, and something to wrap presents.   But if you know someone facing loss, there are better alternatives.  Listen to them over coffee, brush away stress, and always stick around.